February 2021 Newsletter

Life in Mexico

It’s a sunny morning and I am driving into Santiago. On the shoulder of the road, a man dressed in bright green running shorts is pushing a titanium baby stroller worth more than my car. And he is wearing a mariachi sombrero.

Man, I wish I could blend in like that.

When we were living in Paris, I vowed to learn French. One day, Linda sent me to the department store to buy a new set of shower rod rings. My dictionary explained that the French translation for rod was baguette, and ring was anneau. Unfortunately, they were also slang for penis and asshole. I hustled down to the housewares department where, using helpful sign language, I asked a young clerk where I could sodomize her, at a reasonable price.

Now I’m doing my best to learn Spanish. Although I haven’t managed to issue carnal invitations yet, I do elicit broad grins from grocery clerks as they patiently inquire what language I’m speaking.

There are other ways to embrace my new home, of course. After living here for a few years, I felt comfortable enough to invite Mexican friends over for dinner. In the spirit of assimilation, I decided to serve Kraft macaroni and cheese in tortillas. They were speechless.

I had better luck dancing. Mexicans like to grind their hips when they boogie. My personal form of cutting the carpet is often described as ‘spastic prancing’, which, when combined with hip grinding, tends to generate lots of personal space under the disco ball.

Still, there’s lots more I can do. Mexicans appreciate kind gestures; I could keep a roll of Tums in my car for the street-corner busker who blows flaming gasoline from his mouth.

On second thought, maybe I’ll just ask the jogger where he got that cool hat.

Recipe: Roast lamb

This is super easy to do and a big hit with family and guests, especially when served with baby potatoes.

Ingredients

1 leg of lamb, deboned, about five pounds in weight. (La Comer sells them in the frozen meat section).

1 lb of baby potatoes, boiled.

3 garlic gloves

1 sprig of fresh rosemary.

1 small chili, minced.

¼ cup of olive oil.

¼ cup of wine.

1 tsp of salt.

1 tsp of pepper.

2 Tsp of flour.

Sliced onion.

Chopped parsley

Butter.

Directions

Rinse the lamb and pat dry.

Mix the garlic, chili, rosemary, olive oil, wine, salt and pepper in a blender.

Place the lamb in a Creuset (iron pot) atop a bed of sliced onion and pour the marinade over the meat. Set aside for at least one hour to let the meat warm to room temperature.

Set your oven to 400 F.

Place the meat in the oven, uncovered, and allow to cook for 90 minutes. The outside will crisp up while the inside is medium rare. If you have a meat thermometer, the inside temperature should be around 300 F. Allow to cook for another 30 minutes if you prefer medium or well done.

Remove the roast and tent it on a serving platter, along with the roasted onion bed. Mix the flour with ½ cup of roast drippings. Put the iron pot on a stovetop burner and heat the drippings to a mild boil, then slowly pour in the flour mixture to create gravy. Salt to taste.

Carve the lamb and serve it with the boiled baby potatoes that have been garnished with chopped parsley and butter.

Enjoy!

Valentine’s Treat!

Click on cover for free download!

“A heart-warming, romantic romp through Paris.”

Book Review

The Guardians

by John Grisham

John Grisham loves to write about the underdog, and this 2019 novel is no exception. Cullen Post is a lawyer and Episcopalian minister and a partner with The Guardian Ministries, a non-profit organization that works to free innocent prisoners from the American penal system. They have saved a  handful of inmates from death row, and are constantly searching for new cases.

In the tiny town of Seabrook, Florida, a lawyer named Keith Russo was brutally murdered in his office late one night. There were no witnesses, but the sheriff quickly focused on Quincy Miller, a young black man who was unhappy with Russo’s handling of his divorce settlement. Using sketchy evidence and testimony from a jailhouse snitch, Quincy is convicted of first-degree murder and sent to prison for life without any hope.

Reviewing the testimony, Post and his cohorts realize that Quincy was railroaded. Even though the trial was over 20 year ago, they begin a new investigation, hunting down witnesses and challenging their testimony. They slowly piece together a cohesive defence to overturn the conviction.

They also uncover evidence of the motive and means of the real killers, a sinister cabal that has run the drug trade in northern Florida for decades. As Post gets closer to the truth, his safety comes under jeopardy. He has to race against time to not only exonerate Quincy, but to save his own life.

I highly recommend The Guardians!

TV Series Review

Lupin

Streaming on Netflix

Based upon a series of mystery novels from the early 20^th century, Lupin is a contemporary update of the gentleman thief and master of disguise who steals from the rich and eludes the police.

Actor Omar Sy plays Assane Diop, the son of Babakar, a Senegalese immigrant who came to France seeking a better life. While working as the driver for Hubert Pelligrini, a powerful businessman, Babakar is convicted of theft when a valuable diamond necklace is stolen from the Pelligrini home. The ashamed man hangs himself in his cell, making Assane an orphan.

Assane grows up vowing revenge. Using the tales of Lupin as a role model, Assane hones his skills of deception in order to steal valuables from gullible rich folk. He builds up a nest egg and a cadre of cohorts to pull off a heist in the Louvre, where a valuable necklace is being auctioned.

When the necklace disappears, the French police launch a massive investigation, but their case runs cold until one detective, a fellow fan of the Lupin novels, focuses his attention on Assane. The two play a game of cat and mouse, with Assane always staying one step ahead, until the series reaches an exciting and satisfying climax.

I highly recommend Lupin!